stuck on repeat

Disciplining is hard. I used to think that the more independent my children became, the easier my life would be. Boy was I wrong! They have their own opinions. They have bad attitudes. They throw tantrums. They are mean to each other! (I don't know if any of you thought your kids would never be mean to each other, but I was under that illusion)

I find myself saying, "don't ask me why, just do it", "don't argue with me, just do what I've asked you to do", "if you don't have something kind to say, you need to stop talking".

I've been reflecting on my REPEATED phrases. How often do I ask God, "why"? How often have I said something unkind just because I was in a mood. Disciplining is so hard, but I've taken a step back and realized that I need to be way more patient with their little hearts because they are learning. I'm on my way to 30 and I still have problems behaving!

I am so thankful for such a gracious God. I need to learn that kind of grace. I'm trying to figure out the balance between discipline and grace.

It's a hard connection for me. I want my boys to behave, I want them to be polite, and I want others to find them enjoyable to be around. I don't know about you, but rude, out of control kids just drive me nuts. I don't want my boys to be like that!

At the same time, I need to be concentrating on their hearts more. I need to find the root of the crazy outbursts. Instead of correcting the outward behavior, I need to figure out their hearts and nurture them. Ahh, so hard for me to do while they are sitting on the floor harassing each other, just to hear each other scream in dismay.

Time to hit my knees and snatch my Bible for some wisdom.