tears and sunshine

Today was rough. Elias was extra clingy and Isaiah was extra ornery. I've been in need of some alone time. Alone time is how I refuel, but I have very little of it these days. After about 15 breakdowns from my dear Elias, I started breaking down. Watching the rain outside just brought on more tears.

Don't worry, there were no temper tantrums performed by me...just silent tears. Often. I think part of it is pregnancy hormones, part is exhaustion, part is this awful weather, but I think the biggest part is I needed some alone time. Not alone time spent working or cleaning while the boys sleep, but good old alone time wasting my time doing whatever I please.

Insert husband. I called Bryan earlier. Complained a bit. Then he reminded me he had basketball tonight. And the tears flowed, yet again. I was really hoping to escape the house and just be by myself after dinner. I didn't want him to miss basketball because he needs more "guy time", so I just sat and cried instead of telling him what was wrong. Anyway, he suspected, I spilled my secret plan I'd been dreaming about.

Do you know what he did? He came home from work two hours early so I could get out by myself! Such a huge ray of sunshine to my day. Does that sound bad that I wanted out by myself that bad?

I did exactly what I planned on - wasted my time. I went to a few stores and just took my precious time (with coffee in hand, of course). I just drove in a silent car and stopped at whatever store looked appealing. It was a marvelous three and a half hours. I came home ready to tackle the house (we have people coming to look at it in the morning), and ready to let Bryan escape to basketball. It was wonderful, and now I feel like tomorrow is going to be a great day. Bring on the attitudes and disciplining!