fear...wisdom...prayer

I've been talking with a naturopathic doctor since the beginning of my pregnancy with Elias. He is a bit crazy, but he changed my life. I have ulcerative colitis, but haven't had one flare up since being on the herbs he's given me. He guided me through getting off my prescription drug, which was rough for a bit, but I'm now completely drug free. I'm only taking herbs.

Which leads to my fear. He is insanely expensive. Now that I am not working, I need to find an alternative. I knew this was coming through conversations I've had with Bryan. He's been wanting this for a long time.

Let me throw this out there - Bryan has been nothing but supportive through my whole quest to heal my body without commercial drugs or steroids. He's not pushing me to do something that will affect my health. I am doing well now. It's time for me to find a cheaper, local doctor.

I'm scared out of my mind. I know this is the wise thing to do for our family. We cannot keep throwing money out because I'm too afraid to try something else. In reality, I probably should have found a local doctor sooner than this, but fear has held me back.

I love the Psalms. I love to read how David cried out to God. I just opened up and started reading some of the previous verses I've underlined throughout my life. Here are just a few that stood out to me, and they'll be my prayers while I work though this.

Psalm 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord: be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 28:6-7
Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

Psalm 31: 4-5
Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.