Elias and reflections of our likeness...

Elias is 2. He's pretty much a crack up, but a little bi polar. He is the happiest little fellow until you can't understand what he's saying. Then the switch happens which usually involves a little falling on the floor action, a lot of crying, and sometimes even kicking. I know it's because he is two and it is because he is just dying to be "big" like his brother. He wants to hold a conversation with me just like Isaiah, but he has such a limited vocabulary still.

I have the hardest time trying to stay patient and calm when tantrums like this take place. I honestly have to stop, breathe, pray, then react. If I don't do that, I just turn into devil mom and rant and rave and throw my own little tantrum.

One thing I've come to find out is that if I don't get my alone time, I throw tantrums just like my little man. No I don't fall on the floor and kick, but it's an adult tantrum. I get upset over silly things, I get short tempered, I snap at Bryan for no reason (although, I'm convinced at the time that he is trying to make me mad), and I feel that everyone is out to irritate me.

I can't say that the people around me are the reason I act like I do. It's a heart/soul thing. Ever since being a stay-at-home mom I've struggled scheduling that alone time with God. I've been so scattered - and it's been 2 years! I should have this down by now, but I'm still struggling. How do all you great moms do it?! Paul speaks my feelings and thoughts so much more clearly.

Romans 7:18-20

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.

Welp, those are my thoughts this Tuesday afternoon. I just keep on praying.